Once the decision to be apart was made, I then needed to think about what this meant for me. Where would I go? I had three options:
1) Rent an apartment by myself.
2) Search the classifieds for a roommate.
3) Rent a property with my soon-to-be divorced dad & my older brother.
Option one was what I was most hoping for, but unfortunately the Sydney rental market is not very affordable and Aaron was the high-flyer out of the both of us. I could do it, but it would be a stretch and not something that I think would be the best choice for me right now. Side note: Kicking myself for dropping out of university. Never, ever will I plan my future around the success of someone else.
Option two is a good idea in theory. Splitting the bills 50/0 with someone who is already established in an apartment which is furnished is great, if you don't already have a tonne of furniture you love and a fat cat who gets fur everywhere. Also, the idea of awkward silences and learning someones bad habits when I am feeling depressed and like I am going to die alone is not appealing.
Moving in with my dad at 25 after living with Aaron for 7 years is, well.. depressing. However, my dad is also going through the dissolution of his marriage (to my stepmother) and as they saying goes "misery loves company". We are both the ones to be leaving the marital home, so I have spent the past two weekends going to open inspections. We have chosen areas which are halfway between where we both already live. I think this is the hardest part.
I LOVE where I live. The restaurants, the beaches, the shops, my friends.. I just cannot find fault with the area. Unfortunately though, the area is expensive and we cannot afford to live here so my expectations need to be lowered a few notches.
Saying that, I refuse to live in properties with holes in the wall, peeling paint, bathroom mould, noisy neighbors or anywhere I get a bad vibe from.. So far, that has eliminated 7 out of 7 properties I have looked at. There is hope though, I have found 3 properties which seem to tick all the boxes, however they are not showing until the end of the month and available until just before Christmas. My dad can wait and Aaron isn't pushing me out the door, just yet, so I think I will hold out unless something else catches my eye.
It isn't ideal still living here together, as I know we can't move on until we are apart but I must admit I am still enjoying what time we do have left, even just for a little while longer.
How long did you stay living with your ex after you separated? Was it easier once you left or is that when reality sunk in?
